My Sickness.

I have a confession; sometimes I annoy myself more than any person on the planet. The cause of these annoyances are boys. My brain cannot help at the reminder, meeting, glimpse, suggestion, or happy thought of a cute boy play out the “could this be my future husband” scenario. Sick, right? But never-the-less true. Like just a few minutes ago when I was suggested of a boy I haven’t seen since I was 7 or 8. I remember that we got along well, and he is most certainly attractive, but my mind immediately went to the possibility of us meeting again and falling madly in love. And more likely than not, I’m not the only girl that does this, at least I hope I’m not the only one, because that would make me more sick in the head than I originally thought. Sadly though, I can’t seem to find a cure for this disease. Even being completely content with who I am and my life, as well as swearing I give up with the male race as a whole because they tend to make life more complicated than necessary, has not cured this illness. But take heart to any girls reading this, that you are not alone in your “Play-prophetic day dream” moments, and take caution boys, because there are girls analyzing your every interaction to way them on this scale. Yes, Life is this messed up, thankfully eternity will be a little more laid back.

Battle of the Sexes

I've decided that one of the hardest things in the world is to have guy friends. Mostly because emotions always get in the way. Either you fall for them because their nice, or they fall for you because your nice. You might be fortunate enough to fall for each other at the same time, and if it works out that great, but if that happens, guy friends eventually get complicated because of marriage, and if it doesn't work out you don't have a guy friend. I currently have 3 guys I would consider friends, and two of them are married. They aren't friends that I talk on the phone with every night, or tell all my deepest secrets to, but they are people that grew with me at important times in our lives, and people I know that if I ever need someone, I can depend on them no questions asked. It's important to have these kind of friends in your life. But it's also important to have boundaries with them. Because no matter what anyone says, it's never healthy to have a guy be your best friend, unless you're married to him. There is just something about connecting with other girls who understand how girls work that you need that support system, and guys don have it. In the same light, it's important that guys not have a girl as their best friend unless their married to them. Because if you don't marry each other, then eventually you will marry someone else, and the person that position that they had for so long will be filled by another leaving you both in the lurch for emotional support. So make sure that you're closest friends are those of the same sex, at least until you get married.

A Gift or a Curse?

First of all I apologize for missing yesterday, It happens from time to time. Anyways, on with today. Is singleness a gift or a curse. Paul says it's a gift: "1 Cor 7:8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am." This may be the scariest verse in the whole bible for singles. Most single people at one time or another raise a prayer to heaven asking to not be blessed with this gift. But we've got it a little bit wrong.

First of all, it's not a gift, but neither is it a curse, it's just a place in life. Everyone experiences it. There is no way around it, because as far as I know, no one has ever been born married. What Paul talks about through 1 Cor. 7 is how much a benefit to Christianity single people are. They have no one to worry about for how they spend their time or money. They are free to live life how God tells them to live it. Married people have at minimum one other person to start entering into the equation, and eventually children as well. It is beneficial to be single, however most cannot remain so forever, nor is it God mandated that anyone be single. Paul even says in verse 25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. As it says, no command from the Lord. Some are single longer than others, and some forever, but God it seems Gives us the choice as to whether to stay single or not, and God knows our heart.

With that in mind, there is no reason to worry about your present situation of singleness. If you want to get married, it will happen, if not, well that will happen too. What you should strive toward is being content with your present situation. Nowhere in the bible do I see our Heroes of days gone by questioning their place in life as single or married. Rather they just did what God wanted them to do at that moment and eventually God gave them a family. So the best thing to do, make a list of goals of not only what you want to do, but what God may have planned, then do them. And no, you can't put get married on the list, because that will happen in God's time. Just be happy and get a life, you may even forget your single.

Relationships don't define me.... Or my lack of them.

Today might be a two post day, because I just got fired up about something I wasn't intending on talking about: Who I am. I don't think anybody realizes how much our culture defines us by our relationships or lack there of. So many people see me as a Right as a Good single Christian girl. Before this I was my parents daughter, after this I will be someone's wife, then maybe someone's mother, grandmother, etc. But while it is good to bond with those that are in the same place in life as the rest of us, I don't see the point in being defined by my relationships. I may be single right now, but that is not who I am. I am a Christian, a writer, a minister, a volunteer, a creative thinker, independent, and the list goes on. I am more than my relationships- save one- my relationship with God. That should be the only relationship that ever defines anyone. I do not need to feed my singleness, because I will not be single forever, in the same way that I did not need to feed the spirituality of being my parents child, but only the spirituality of following God, because that is what makes us better at our relationships. That is what made me a better daughter, is making me a better single person, will make me a better wife, mother, and grandmother. That I am finding who I am in God, and not Who I am for the moment. God is eternal, This moment has pasted. So don't seek to find yourself in your present circumstances, those will always change, seek only God and his will, and the rest will make since in the end.

When Boys talk like Girls

It is a misconception in our world that girls want super sensitive guys. This is a lie. Now I don't mean that I want a stoic guy who thinks real men don't cry, because that's false too. What I'm saying is that (to steal from a quote on my wall) "I like being womanly; I like a man who's a man. We don't have to become the same to be equal." So I most definitely do not like guys who are more girly than me. That is not attractive. Boys like that I want to slap up side the head and say "Grow up and be a man." Some how we've scared guys into think that to be equal to us they have to adopt our way of expressing yourself, which turns complicated because women are emotional, and boys pretend not to be emotional even though they are, but that's a whole other post. The real point that I'm trying to make, is that if a guy is more girly than I am, the relationship is over before it begins. It is apparent all through the bible that the man is supposed to be head of the household, which means they need to be the head of the relationship from step one. This is why I never- ever- ever make the first move. If the guy can't lead from the beginning, nothing I do will ever change that- and I have enough to be in charge of without taking responsibilities on that belong to others. So step it up guys and be a man.

Single Christian Seeks God

I've always been Single. I've also always been a Christian. These two things are oxymoronic to some. Even more so because I'm a girl, but still all of these are true statements. I have never seen myself though as someone who will forever and always be single. On the contrary I look forward to getting married, and (possibly) having kids, although that thought terrifies me at the moment. But once I got to the point where dating interested me, and nothing happened (I was most certainly an ugly duckling) all I could do was bemoan my unfortunate existence, because what else was a good Christian girl supposed to do other than get married and have lots of kids? Or so I thought. I know realize a thing or two about being single and what God thinks about it, and even why he has made me so for so long. I hope these thoughts help whoever crosses the path of this journal and helps them realize that being single can actually be a very happy moment in life rather than pause before the pursuit.