Ministry: the ultimate background check.

When you are single and in ministry (whether a highly involved volunteer, a lay minister, or paid staff) this is the ultimate background check. These two things make you a lifetime member of the fishbowl feeding frenzy. Because you are in ministry, they think they know who you are, but what they see is the facade of who people expect you to be. Now I'm not saying that in ministry we are two faced, but what I am saying is that people expect us to be more perfect than the rest of humanity, when in reality we are human. So when you add this on top of the fact you are single, it because licence for other singles to look at you and super impose their idea of perfect onto your image, when in reality, you are someone completely different. Another down side to this is that as a minister, you are a people person and thus enjoyable to be around (for the most part) other wise you wouldn't succeed in ministry. When you are enjoyable to be around, and all together nice, it you deal with the "nice guy syndrome," where people misinterpret niceness for flirting or mutual attraction.

So why am I talking about all of this? I'm warning both sides of the field to guard their heart. Make sure that attraction is not based on the superficial, but a mutual understanding of God's purpose in your life. You should have the same understanding of life, God, your faith, and in general-common interests. And when I say you should have, this doesn't mean looking at what the person you are attracted to believes in all these area's and say, "I could do that," or "Yeah I kind of believe that," or "have no opinion in general" and by default take on theirs. Do not allow yourself to become a runaway bride (this is prevented by making a list and checking it twice...).

Ultimate background checks are not what they appear to be. We are all human, we all have mistakes, and we are all our own individual. To not superimpose you understanding of Jesus onto a human, you're bound to get your heart broken.