Unfriend

Well, After a week of sickness, I now have room in my head for a thought or two (although it still feels like my body is still trying to get my lungs to the outside)

One thing that has happened is that quite a bit in the past week is Facebook unfriending and blocking. Has that ever happened to you? Where someone gets there panties in a twist about something- usually imaginary- and they unfriend, or in extreme circumstances, block you.

Here is what I think about this. Unfriending someone says that you fully and completely give up on any type of relationship with the unfriended. Usually this action is done at the height of a moment, and in my experience is the end result of a temper-tantrum. It's saying that "if you're not going to give me what we want, then I'm not going to be your friend." In other words they want the friendship to be on their terms and their terms alone.

Blocking now can go two ways. When someone unfriends you and then blocks you, well it's just a heightened moment from before. And most likely in their mind, they use it as a method for you to come begging back to them. If they block you on facebook, you have to call them, you have to beg them to be your friend again, and that's exactly what they want, the control of the relationship back. The other situation for blocking, other than to get rid of crazy stalkers and creep-o's of that nature, is to keep the control of the relationship. I have blocked someone who went through the before mentioned unfriending, and I have another friend that did the same thing, and this is why: So they have to verbalize their apology. Both of the people that we blocked have bi-polar emotions. They are your friend one minute, and not the next, not speaking, then chatting your ear off as though nothing happened. And should you do nothing, they would, when it suits them, click the "let's be friends" button and try to waltz back into your life without a second thought to what they did to your emotions. Because it's all about them.

Now I know some of you are reading this thinking, that's not true, I'm not like that, and maybe your right. But really think, and really put yourself in the other persons shoes, and answer honestly. Make sure your motivations are pure before you start a handful of drama in life. Make sure you've really been a friend, and that you haven't expected of the other person more than you were willing to give, or that they were able to give. We are all broken people, and to expect others to hold your broken pieces together is something that will never happen; their too busy trying to hold their own pieces together.

You see this is the biggest problem with the married and single thinking of life, because single people discount anything that has to do with marriage in the bible because it doesn't apply. And that's not true because we all have relationships. And just as if God is not the number one of your marriage it's doomed to fail, If God is not the first and foremost of your life, then you will look to people to fill that place, something they can not do, and one after another, your friendships will fail, your trust in your parents, even your confidence in yourself will be gone. God needs to be number one, no matter what relationships are in your life.

And it may be too late to salvage that friendship. That's alright. Forgive them, ask for forgiveness, move on, and learn from this experience. Because that's life.